Mood for the moment.

stormchaserviolentbbbbb

This unfortunate picture of a hurricane forming somewhere in another country other than mine is being used today to try and convey the emotions i’m experiencing at this moment in time. A precious family member is mentally ill and has been for the past 10 years since their mid-teens. In a way, the photo above could signify their state of mind as well. They are currently within the confines of a small hospital in another town due to an all too frequent breakdown. Before they became an adult at 18 (Australia) I was kept informed and allowed input into their psychological care. Now she is an adult, I’m not allowed to know anything. Neither am I listened to if I have some information about what triggered this latest breakdown. All I can do is watch from the periphery and hope for the best. What I hate the most is how social media was able to share with the world their complete breakdown, every horrible, awful non-sensical thing her mind told her to spew forth about everybody that ever loved them. Their “friends” goading them on, online. We, as their family members must just suffer the consequences, yet again. What is so sad, is that some of us cannot deal with this anymore. If a loved one continues to stop taking their meds because they “feel” better, who is policing this if they refuse psychological help? I know there is no easy answer. I guess when their inner demon quietens down enough for them to hear another voice, change may happen.

Boardwalk at Middleton Beach

I like the picture above as it shows a boardwalk close to where I live, near the ocean, dappled in sunlight and part shade. It is a bit like life. The walk we take is a mixture of light and shade, often in equal measures. I like to think that i’ll just keep walking through the shady bits till I get out into the sunshine.

92

The above funny quote is how I often get myself through particularly dark and shady days. I am good enough. 🙂

xox

14 thoughts on “Mood for the moment.

  1. I am sorry to hear about your relation. I know how hard it is for families. I just worked for 4 years in mental health supporting sufferers. Privacy is not always the ideal, I don’t know how on earth I could cope with that if it were my husband or kids! but a problem we often saw was patients either not wanting their families involved because they didn’t want to cause any more stress, or well meaning family members causing more issues for them. So many times though we spoke to very loving, kind family groups and our hands were tied in giving out information that was sorely needed, it would’ve meant our jobs. Info can be given if a client gives permission, there’s all sorts of reasons why they don’t wish that and workers need to comply with that legally. Its such a difficult and trying situation for you I know. Big hug for caring, many have families that don’t or are burnt out from trying.

    1. Thank you for your kind words. They were very helpful. I truly understand the privacy needed by mental health patients. As a parent, it is so very hard to let go and realize my daughter doesn’t want me to know what is going on with her for whatever reason. xox

      1. Cool 🙂 She probably feels old enough to go it alone and that she’s in control….with impaired judgement this possibly couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m sorry this is your daughter, it must be terribly difficult for you. Take care xx

  2. I hope she is doing well in hospital Pinky. It’s very hard when your perception of what is real is skewed and what happens in the mind of the mentally ill must be a nightmare. Hugs from Tassie sis 🙂 XXXXX OOOOO XXXXX 🙂

    1. I think she is home now Fronkii. I wonder when it will be ok to ring her or do I just wait till she calls me? Jason tells me not to call her. Hate this frustration and sadness and the cycle it exists in.

      1. I am with Jason on this one Pinky, its part of her recovering that she takes the steps to phone you and not the other way around. You don’t want her resenting you. Familiarity breeds contempt and when you are always “there” you end up being the brunt of the problems. Best stay away for now. She will be expecting you to hover around. If you don’t and she makes the initial overtures it is going to be better all round. I know it’s hard but there is a time for everything and it’s time for you to let her lick her wounds and make amends.

  3. I feel your pain Cathy. My brother suffers from schizophrenia and it has torn our family apart. My Mother suffered the most. It is frustrating when you can’t have some input into their lives. My brother was allowed to leave home at the age of 14, with the governments well wishes. It broke my parents heart. They were always frightened of what the next knock on the door would be. My thoughts and well wishes are with you Cathy x ❤

  4. Don’t worry Cathy, things will improve soon. There will be good times as well, so look forward to them. You just have to be patient, very hard when you’re a mum and you want to go to your baby and give them a hug. Mum had to be patient and wait to hear from my brother. Maybe write a letter to her, but don’t post it. Hugs and best wishes x

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